TRANSCRIPTION | Wednesday, February 16, 2022 | Priceless Relationship Night

 

Dr. Terry Swan:

Wonderful work that was done to make this evening, uh, come about. And I wanna bless you for coming because it says a great deal about you as couples to be here. It honors the Lord, and you're making a statement about celebrating the goodness of your marriage. So this is gonna be an enjoyable evening. My wife sin told me not to be witty, charming or intellectual, just be myself.

Dr. Terry Swan:

I dunno if there was a compliment in there somewhere, but we will talk about relationships and relationship truths. And as you can see on your table, there's a little sheet called table talks, and we're gonna actually discuss some of those with our spouses now. Uh, and we're are gonna all do this in, uh, 40, 45 minutes. Okay. Now, what if I told you tonight about a financial investment that would force certain quadruple your money in a year, you'd be grabbing a pen and paper, wouldn't you? What if I told you about an investment in your marriage and with your spouse, that over next year, you could dramatically increase your enjoyment of being married and maybe just maybe fall in love all over again. What would that be worth to you? I would suggest that it would be priceless. It would be priceless. And that's the name for the evening?

Dr. Terry Swan:

So this is worthy of our best effort. It's becoming marriage smart with this beautiful person that God has given you. So he got three points tonight and one theme under priceless. And the theme is to talk about romance. And as a prelude, let's just give praise to God because romance is God's good idea. Everybody agree that God was on his a game the day he thought of love and sex and romance. You bet. This is God. That's why we're talking about it in church. We have a great God and we have a Bible that's absolutely filled with love stories, wonderful love stories. Uh, everybody read the song as Solomon before. I mean, I know it can be used as an analogy of Christ love for the church, but as it's written, it's a beautiful love story with expressions between a man and a woman. Listen to these words, these are Bible verses.

Dr. Terry Swan:

I'm sick with love. My heart beats faster. Many waters cannot quench love. And when Solomon refers to sex, he calls it flashes of fire. The flame of the Lord. This is Bible who put this fire, this flame within us. It is the flame of the Lord. When all those synapses in your brain, you know, just all light up because you're feeling romantic, romantic feelings are addictive and God made it that way. It is romance that gets you in the game. Remember that it's romance that gets you to the altar it's of honor. And oh boy. All right.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Now, everybody, everybody, except the engaged couples know that you can't stand this romantic high forever, right? But romance should keep coming back again. And again, to punctuate our relationship where we kind of have that restoration of that recognition of the flame. We felt at first now, pastor Eric's been preaching a great sermon series on meaningful connections. And I just read a survey done late in 2021, where they had an open ended question and asking people, what is the most meaningful or satisfying or fulfilling thing in your life? And only 13% of the married people listed their spouse. Barely one out of eight said their spouse bought great meaning into their life. And it doesn't have to be that way. Okay. In fact, it shouldn't be that way for Christian people. So we gonna talk about recapturing the flame. And the first point is this because we're people of faith, romance is about faithfulness to one as Christians.

Dr. Terry Swan:

We love everybody, but we're only romantic with one person and that's for life and as priceless to be loved by one, uh, before, when you're dating, let's think back to your dating time. For me, it was kind of like a temp agency, you know, you're, you're, you're, you're kind of sorting through people and you're meeting folks, but you don't have to really be faithful to one. Cuz you're trying to find the one I'm thinking of a Christian girl. I knew and uh, nice Christian, but I don't think she believed the whole Bible. Um, do you, you know that famous verse from Luke 9 23, if any man come after me, let him deny himself, pick up his cross and follow me. I don't think she believed that whole verse. I think she believed like 9 23, a just the first half of it. If any man come after me, let him,

Dr. Terry Swan:

Or do you remember, do you remember dating in high school? Uh, I remember this one girl. I think she wanted to date me because I was a football player and she said, she'd be faithful to the end, but the problem was I was the quarterback. So that, that didn't, that didn't work out. But then finally, finally, thank you, God, we sort through all these people and we meet the person and that God has appointed for us. And we spend time with that person. We date, we court, we pursue them. I proposed to send a 12 weeks after our first date, cuz well I'm a patient guy,

Dr. Terry Swan:

But see, I knew that she was the person for me. And after that proposal sin to remember we went out to eat and then we just didn't want the night to end. It was so euphoric to be engaged. I just remember it being one of the happiest nights of my life. And we just drove around the city forever, just enjoying being together. But you know, first you get hit by Cupid and then you get hit by his younger, lesser known by other stupid and shortly after sin and I got engaged and this is, this really happened and I have never, ever told this story in public before. So I'm, I'm telling you something that only Cindy and I know, uh, just maybe a couple weeks, I don't know the exact timeframe Cinda after we got married, since we were gonna be married, you know, in a, you know, in a few months down the road. Um, and this engaged couple, I asked Cinda if maybe she could start washing my clothes for me, do my laundry.

Speaker 2:

Uhoh

Dr. Terry Swan:

Uh, the moment I said it, I realized I'd made a mistake, you know, cuz we weren't even gonna get married for like four months or so. And I, the nonverbals, the look of shock and revulsion on her face, let me know that I had violated a dating protocol and uh, gave me some idea about, you know, down the road, what the roles in our marriage were gonna look like. Okay. And you know, uh, recently I saw a classmate from college and I hadn't seen this guy since college and he said, Hey Terry, did, did you ever marry that girl that you were dating in college? Or are you still doing your laundry and ironing? And I said, yes.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Now, now to be fair, to be fair, we share in the laundry load. But I literally don't remember anything about my senior year in college because I was majoring in CNDA. I, I looked at my undergraduate transcript recent and I see courses. I see that I passed, I got grades, but I remember almost nothing about them because I was now engaged to be married. Now what I'm gonna ask you to do here is we're gonna turn to our first table talk number one. And we're gonna pause for a couple minutes and the there's questions on the table talk, but we're gonna put them screen as well. And in just a moment, I'm gonna ask you actually to shift your chair sideways. So you can look at your spouse in the face and see their eyes, but just hold on one minute, I'm gonna give you some directions. You're gonna tell your spouse your best memories of the day of that proposal, how you felt that day. And then I want you to thank your spouse for choosing you. Okay? You got two minutes, just turn your chairs towards each other. And the, the it'll be on the screen there as well.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Okay? I hope you got to do that. If you could, uh, turn your chairs and attention back up to here and next time I actually want all of you to actually turn your chairs towards each other. You know why we spend a lot of time side by side conversations in the car and other places. But during this, I want you to actually look and see the expression on your beloveds face. Now, when you get married, a a, a marriage license is really a lot more like a learner's permit. It's, it's a public decoration, right? It's, it's a statement that you make about what you're gonna do together as a married couple. That's why we take our vows before God at a church in the old Testament, sacrifices were brought to the altar. And that is where we decide to sacrifice our lives to each other at the altar for better, for worse, for richer, for poor in sickness and in health.

Dr. Terry Swan:

And then we exchange rings, which is a symbol of what we have done. And I know that, uh, several months ago when I spoke at three trees, I confess that I don't don't like wearing jewelry. You know, I just, I don't, but every morning I take my wedding ring out of a box and I, and I put it on my finger, you know, mostly. So I won't get hit on in Walmart. The major reason, of course not the reason I wear it is to show faithfulness to one. It's been said that a wedding ring is a small band that cuts off your circulation.

Dr. Terry Swan:

It's your exclusivity. That brings about the intimacy. That's a hard statement to say, what I mean is it's your faithfulness to one. And I, I actually think faithfulness is underrated. Like if I was making like a list of best attributes for marriage partner, for me, I would put faithfulness right at the top. Wouldn't you? That is so important. I heard of this, this guy, a married guy who was reminiscing with his wife, whose name was Irma. And he was talking about their lives together. And he said, you know, Irma, you've always been there for me. He said, remember when I was in the army and I got on the plane to go to the middle east to war. And just before I got in the plane, I looked back and yours was the last face that I saw. And he said, remember, Irma, you've always been there for me. And he said, when we had that car accident and when the dust settled and I, and I looked and there you were Irma, you were right there with me. You've always been there with me, Irma. And he said, then when I had my heart surgery and I came out of the anesthesia and I looked in Irma, you were the first person that I saw. And you've always been there. Irma. And you know what? I've come to realize your bad luck, Irma. You're just bad luck. You just

Dr. Terry Swan:

Now of course not, of course not. It is the best of luck. If you have a partner who is faithful to you. And so let's agree that faithfulness to one is the first basis for romance point. Number two, romance is what I call faithfulness in playfulness. Faithfulness in playfulness, the Bible tells men live joyfully with the wife that God has given you. Now, how can you up your game? Literally now this has two components. First be faithful to be playful with your spouse. That's receptivity and second, be faithful to only be playful with your spouse. That's exclusivity. Now let me do the first component. And I I've, I feel like I wanna just say a few words to the why about your husbands, something some wives understand, and some may not in survey after survey, the top need that men have from their wives, a need that only their wives can meet for them is that their wives be receptive lovers and exclusive playmates, receptive lovers and exclusive playmates, no need even comes close.

Dr. Terry Swan:

And for the vast majority of men and a wife who meets this need for her husband will be absolutely adored by him. Your husband will be filled with gratitude to you. You see men are just astonishingly visual and their body center. And that's just how God made men. That is why Christian men have a battle with not looking at other women and stuff like that. They're just very visual. And see, it's not a question of whether your husband's head will be filled with images because he's so visual. It's a question of what images will be in his head. And a creative Christian wife will keep her husband's visual memory full of captivating images of her. Now, while I wanna say this, you do not have to be a supermodel. That is so Satan's lie. I, I don't even know if I can say this strongly enough or with enough emphasis, you are beautiful to your husband just as you are, believe me, you're a woman.

Dr. Terry Swan:

You're beautiful because you have curves and otherness and you odds gift to him. You're his wife and his lifetime lover. You husbands know what I'm talking about. Almost 90% of women report on surveys. They need to know that their husbands love them and that they think they're beautiful. So husbands, I know you said this earlier. I'm just gonna change the words. Well, you just turn to your wives with meaning. I actually want you to take their hand. I want you to take their hand and say, you're so lovely to me. Will you say that dear wise right now, see, this is just meeting our spouse's needs as God made them. Now here's, here's a question. Here's a question in studies. What do you think is the number one attribute that women under 30 years of age look for in a potential mate in a man? What do you think women under 30 look for it's pH physical attractiveness, but women get smarter with age. What do you think women over 30 years of age look for in a man. First of all, uh it's. It's not really one thing, but it, it kind of has the sense. They're looking for a man who will pro vibe. He's a good partner. He's stable. He's smart. Now that's women then there's men.

Dr. Terry Swan:

What do you think? The number one attribute it is that men under 30 look for in a woman in a potential mate it's looks it's looks. What do you think is the number one attribute men over 30? Look for in a woman it's looks men over 40. Keep going men over 50 men, over 60 men, over 70 men, over 80 is breathing. The,

Dr. Terry Swan:

That is just men. That's just how God made men. So don't fault them for being the way that God put them together. Not for husbands. For husbands, your wives need an attentive, affirming, an affectionate husband who regularly engages with her men. If you gave your wives half the attention you probably gave to the super bowl earlier this week, your wives would absolutely adore you. Attention, affirmation, and affection. It's like a AAA battery that recharges her life. Don't ever let it be said of you. That you're one of those husbands who don't listen. Don't be that guy. You. And if you've been that guy, just stop being that guy. You can be better than that. Cuz when you tune out your wife, you bruise her heart. It says to her, she's not valued. That she's not important that she's taken for granted. And so when your wife speaks, just put down what you're doing and turn and give your attention and appreciate her perspective.

Dr. Terry Swan:

What I say is that some, some husbands have triple a D D in marriage. They got attention deficit disorder, but they also have affection and AF uh, affirmation deficit disorder. And only you only, you husbands can fulfill that deficit in your spouses. So you support and you court, your spouses support and court, your you pursue them. They wanna be pursued. You cherish her. You affirm her. She, you tell her she's lovely to you and you touch regularly. It's it's a normal need for affection that she has the touching, the holding hands, the hugs and things like that. And not just when you wanna make love, not just then. And if you engage your dark wife in this way, watch how she will respond and blossom to you, treasuring her. And for both of you, I bet when you were dating, you were really good at flirting.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Weren't you? Do you remember how good you were? You shouldn't stop. Once you get married, we ASIN and I, we call it righteous. Flirting should be righteous flirting. So take a risk and be playful. And yes, you date your mate. But some people think it takes a lot of planning for activities. Like this is such a great thing to come to, but sometimes it's just going out for a cup of coffee together. It's taking a walk together. Um, you know, or else, if, if you don't plan it, it won't happen. Uh, when, when Cindy and I were in the intensive, uh, child during years and uh, can I get a show of hands? How many couples here have children at home? I know some of you, you're actually too tired to raise your hands. Okay. I, I get it. You know, you're you were not, but Cindy and I found out if we could just get away for an evening, but especially if we could get away for 24 hours, oh my it was refreshing and renewing and I, and we could be boyfriend and girlfriend.

Dr. Terry Swan:

And then we came back and it just gave us a whole new perspective on our obligations. You know, ASIN and I have now been on over 40 honeymoons together this afternoon. I was actually planning our 45th honeymoon. We enjoyed the first one so much. We just kept doing it. And it's the best investment that we've ever made. It is totally worth the expense for the quality of our marriage. But the thing is you have to decide, and I'm talking not just a couples as an individual, you have to decide how you're gonna keep rooming, your lover, how you're gonna live joyfully with your spouse. So surprise your partner on occasion, play games, write notes, whatever it is that makes him or her feel special. You just start doing it. You know, so many of you, I know you and you are so creative in your work and business and jobs in, in home decoration, all you gotta do is apply the same creativity and artistry to your marriage.

Dr. Terry Swan:

So let's turn to our second table talk. And I actually really do want you to turn your chairs facing your partner now. And I'd like each of you to think of something romantic that your partner has done for you. It doesn't matter if it was years ago, even whatever comes to your mind. And then I want you to affirm him or her for, uh, doing that and then tell your partner why it meant so much to you. Why don't we start with the wives going first. So, uh, turn your chair to your partner and let's do this table talk.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Okay. I hope you had enough time there to, uh, to be able to talk. Isn't that fun? Just fun. Do it reminisce together. And, and to know, uh, what's romantic to your partner. Now there's a flip side about romance and faithfulness and playfulness, and that it, it is only to your spouse house in this culture. As a, as a couple, you gotta be on border patrol together to guard what you have and to keep it good. Uh, we live in a close call culture where a lot of people don't honor what the wedding ring stands for. So I'm not gonna say a lot here. And I, I know you're kind of used to me, I've vacillate between the humorous and the holy, but it usually the humor is always meant to lead us to the holy, but I'm gonna be really, really serious for about two minutes, because I would want you to be successful for a lifetime as a couple.

Dr. Terry Swan:

There's a Bible story in Genesis 26, where Isaac, um, comes with his beautiful wife, Rebecca to land of the Philistines. And he's that the men of that land will kill him to get to his wife. So he tells the people of the land that Rebecca is his sister. And then one day the king of that land, a BI is looking out the window and he sees Isaac and Rebecca together. And the scripture says they were sporting with each other, sporting and scholars use the synonym for the word supporting, um, sporting rather to being playful, laughing, and touching and implies liberties taken and freedom and touching. They're just a husband and a wife do with each other and a BI like sees this and he knows this behavior wouldn't be appropriate for a brother and sister. They, they would never do that. And so he calls Isaac seek out on it.

Dr. Terry Swan:

And Isaac has to admit that Rebecca is his wife. Now there's two takeaways here from the scripture regarding our theme. Even the ancients knew 4,000 years ago, 4,000 years ago. Number one, that every married couple has their own romantic, private playground with their playful behaviors. Every couple does. And then number two, the ancients also knew that married persons don't do this behavior with anyone, but their spouse, their boundaries, even a hen king, like a Bilac knew these boundaries. And so yours is a private playground. There's no other visitors allowed and the sensate behavior and the touching and flirting, it's just for your spouse. So we, as Christians have to guard what we say or do, and never act in a way that makes our spouse feel uncomfortable. I I've, I've now spent a whole lifetime in the counseling room with many, many Christian men and women with a bunch of ministers who crossed the line and we would track the chronology of how did you get to that place where you ended up in, in an affair?

Dr. Terry Swan:

How'd you go from talking about the upper room and ending up in the bedroom. And most Christians don't intend to, they just don't intend not to. And almost every time the boundary crossing person will say something like, well, it was also innocent. We were just having fun together, being playful and see playfulness conveys the message I want to play with you. And that message for adults is always sexualized by males. And almost always by females. Maybe you've heard this truism that a man is already halfway in love with a woman who listens well to him, who laughs at his jokes, compliments him, stands close teases and touches. It meets a deep emotional need. And we get drawn to those people and we do not want to go there. So we as Christian spouses not only need to avoid blurred boundary behavior and to be careful and discreet and modest with the opposite sex.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Also, what we need to do is regularly notice and listen to, and build up our spouses and flirt with them and play with them. And if you do that for your spouse, they'll never have a need to get it elsewhere from others enough set on that enough set on that. Now I got a last point and I won't be as serious, but I am serious on all these romance is faithfulness in the little things, faithfulness and little things. It's usually not big things, but it's little wrong things that sink a marriage into low satisfaction, conversely little right things, jumpstart, a marriage into, into real high satisfaction. This husband and a wife were standing one morning looking out the window and they watched their neighbor kiss his wife goodbye before he left for work. And the wife turned from looking out the window and to her husband and said, look, our neighbor always kisses. His wife goodbye each morning. Why don't you do that? And the husband replied why I hardly know the woman.

Dr. Terry Swan:

I don't think her husband would appreciate it. Well, you see it's little things, little things maybe you heard of the husband who loved his wife so much, he almost told her, or have you ever heard of the proverb that you can send your marriage to an early grave through a series of little digs? It's little things. It's the words we say, husbands, the three little words that your wife may need to hear may not be. I love you. Although you do need to say those regularly, sometimes the three words are let's eat out or I'll do dishes. And I know I'm gonna get in trouble here, but the only verse in the Bible that mentions doing dishes is second Kings two 13. And it's a man. I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipes a dish. I don't wanna get any hate emails now or anything as a result of that. But that's the truth. It's little things. It's little things, not the big things. Uh, recently I read a, a chapter in a book that listed names of man. It wasn't a complete list, but it was a list of men who had been awarded the Nobel peace prize. And you would recognize some of these names like Nelson Mandela or Henry Kissinger. And besides winning the Nobel peace prize, the men were on the list because they had something else in common. They were all divorced.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Now these men were, were able to negotiate peace with nations and wars, bring people to the table for peace, big things. But these men were unable to negotiate peace with their wives, just sleeping 18 inches away from them in the marriage, bed, little things and little things accumulate into big things. So if you start, aren't doing good little things, good little right things at home. It becomes good, big things. This, uh, husband and a wife were lying in bed one night and the husband asked his wife to whisper some dirty things in his ear. And so she whispered the bathroom, the laundry room, the kitchen.

Dr. Terry Swan:

It's just little things it's just helping out more. I'm really getting in trouble. Now I can tell now, Cindy and I had been married about five years when we went to a marriage in Richmond in bowling green, and one of the couple's communications exercises we did and Sy remember this. Well, it, it was an activity where we had to list things that our did for us that made us feel special and loved. And so I was writing things that Cindy did that made me feel special and loved. And then we exchanged our list and I had a Kodak moment when I saw her list. I, I was literally astonished at what she had written. My, my jaw dropped. I, it was lots of little behaviors, small things I did. And I had no idea that it meant so much to my precious wife. I felt like I was clueless.

Dr. Terry Swan:

I'd been married over five years and I was just about to become Dr. Swan. I'd read over a hundred books in marriage for my doctoral dissertation. I thought I was a good attenti of husband and I had been missing it, but no more. I saved that list. Why? Because it was a window into what made her feel special in love. And I still have that list, that same list. And I started doing those things. And so we can decide, we can really decide at any time, like right now to be a better husband or be a better wife and to line up with God's plan to make our spouse, our first ministry, you before the Lord. But what that means to be a better husband or a better spouse is what I call the eye of the beholder, the eye of the beholder. In other words, it's not what you think it means to be a better husband or better wife. It's what your spouse means. Are you meeting his or her needs? It's the little things in, uh, in marriage counseling. You know, when a couple comes in, you have to ask him a few questions. And I, I remember several years ago asking this couple, well, you know how long you've been married? And the husband replied and he said, well, we've been married 12 happy years. Next week is our 15th anniversary.

Dr. Terry Swan:

You get what he was saying? I, I got it right away. All couples, all couples have a period where, or things just go flat for a while or they go through a rough patch. It just comes with the package, you know, where it's just not so great for a while, but you know what? That's why we stay faithful to one. That's why we try to keep our romance alive by playing and dating. That's why we give attention to the little things. See feelings that are lost, can be feelings, revived, those feelings that you may be lost from early on in the marriage. Those can be restored. And it usually doesn't take a long time for them to come back. They can come back rather quickly. I've seen it happen with many couples. In fact, there was a study done of couples who rated their marriage as unhappy.

Dr. Terry Swan:

And yet they stayed together there. Five years later, they tracked down all these couples and asked them to rate their marriage. Now, I remember five years early, all these couples said that their marriage was unhappy five years after that 86% of these couples rated their marriages as happy or very happy feelings that are lost, can be feelings that are restored. You can get 'em back. You know, if your partner is unhappy or withdrawn or struggling or hurt, and especially if you're the one, if you're the one that has bruised your lover's heart, don't delay, cuz the longer you wait, the longer it takes to heal, run, and don't walk, rush to their side. And I, I think you all hurt sin in me to on the last couple Sundays at three trees, empathize, empathize, do not let your beloved drowned. You be the one to break the fragile atmosphere and say, honey, I see that you're hurt and withdrawn.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Let me listen to you. Talk to me, get it out. Help me to understand what you're feeling because I don't wanna see you this way. It, and it pains me to think that somehow I've contributed to your unhappiness. Just let me know what I've said or done so I can crack it or even ask forgiveness if I need to, I wanna be close and I value you. So let's, let's just talk cuz I love you. And I, I, I want us to talk it out, tell you're okay. And I tell you what couples that act in a mature manner like that they don't walk out. They work it out and they'll make it and your marriage will be good. It'll be very good. And it'll be a source of sustenance for you, you know, it's Valentine's season. And even though I make my own Valentine's cards each year and they're, they're not very good, but I, I try to make my own I'm I'm I still draw stick figures, but you know, I, I make up my own card, but I always look, look at the Valentine cards, you know, at, at the Walmart or wherever I am hiding my ring, you know?

Dr. Terry Swan:

And um, it struck me this year. How many sentiments they have in so many cards that say something like, well, sorry, I don't say I love you enough. Or I, I, I know I don't express my love very well. And I thought, you know what, what if each one of us decides to not be that kind of spouse instead of become a partner who's married, smart and recognizes that your spouse, your husband, your wife, is your gift from God and we're to do this thing. Well, I, I know your beautiful people already and why not work at becoming the couple that falls in love all over again. And that becomes your love story. It really is possible. Now in, in just a minute, we're gonna have one more short activity for you to do as a couple. And then this portion of the program will be done and I'm, I'll be giving you some instructions.

Dr. Terry Swan:

And what you're gonna be doing is you're gonna be complimenting your partner and you may never know how much a compliment means from the person in the world who knows you best mark Twain said he could last three months on a good compliment, uh, sin. And I were leading a marriage in Richmond a number of years ago. And uh, we were trying to show couples how to communicate. So we were doing what you're doing, but sin and I sat in front the group, we put our chairs, wheezy, nosy in front of each other, looking at each other's faces and just to show them how to do it. We complimented each other. And I don't remember what I said to compliment CNDA, but I remember that she surprised me by the way she complimented me. She, she complimented my arms and, uh, I, I was so surprised by that, but I was, I was kind of affirmed having my, I, I wanted to go out and start,

Dr. Terry Swan:

You know, pumping iron. I, I thought maybe I need to wear some tighter t-shirts or something like that. Or I hope somebody asked me which way to the restroom, cuz I'm gonna go, you know, like that or something that compliment was years ago. And I still remember it and she's given me many compliment sense, but always, it means so much with a compliment that comes from your beloved. So as we, we are gonna turn to our last, uh, table talk and uh, I wanna make sure I get this in. Um, I hope you're enjoying talking with your beloved in this way and you're actually gonna have a gift bag on the way out later, uh, tonight when you leave and in that gift bag of course has some gifts, but there's also, um, a table talk for you to do at home. And we would thank you, Cindy, for coming up with the idea for it and creating the original.

Dr. Terry Swan:

Thank you. Uh, Kayla and Jordan, all the serve team for having to put together so many gift bags and um, what, what I'm gonna ask you to do sometime in the next two weeks as a follow up, will you as a couple, just set aside one hour, just one hour and do that table talk. It will totally be worth it if you'll do it. So here's our, our last activity that we're gonna have. Um, and, and so what you're gonna do, it'll, it's gonna be put on the screen, but it's also on the table talk sheet. Um, you're gonna compliment your partner and it gives you directions on how to compliment him or her. And then you're gonna tell your partner something that you like or admire about him or her. So you'll answer those questions and then there's prayers to be prayed out loud, uh, for each of you and then a prayer together. So if you would please, would you turn to each turn to your, your partner, turn to your spouse or fiance and have this last talk and then say that prayer Give you about 30 more seconds. We just need to finish.

Dr. Terry Swan:

All right. I, I think, um, in just about a minute, Corey and cuz Sandra I think are gonna be, be coming up and then there's some, uh, final, uh, details to our lovely evening together. But I, I wanna, I wanna just offer a blessing to you for coming and being here. That's just such a wonderful statement about you as couples and uh, just coming with your, your beautiful spouse to spend time together and think about the goodness of marriage. And this isn't so much a plug, but I, I just wanna say that if you enjoyed having these conversations with your spouse, um, I, I do have a newest book out it's called working at loving becoming marriage smart. And it's just filled with little activities like that, that you can just sit and have conversations and come to know so much more about this person than you ever thought you did. Now. Not only that it's only $7, that's like a fast food lunch, you know, that's. And so we do have a book table out, you know, on your way out, if, if you, uh, if that would, uh, be of help to you. So I, I wanna offer a blessing to you and thank you for giving me the privilege.